By: Demitritus Payne, NB3FIT Program Coordinator

“How to deal with youth with problematic behavior.”

I’ve always had a strong dislike of this statement. Why? Because this statement vilifies our youth and it makes it look like their disruptive behaviors were done on purpose, for the fun of it, when in reality their actions could’ve been caused by a multitude of things. Things they may tell us about, and things they may never tell us about. This mindset of “dealing with problematic youth” is the problem. As coaches/teachers/educators or any person who works with youth, or has youth of their own, we should not be “dealing” with our youth, but instead “working” with them.

Now the real question “how can we work with the youth to help them?”

It is my firm belief that in order for us to help our youth we must change our mindsets from that of “dealing” with them to “working” with them. This mindset must be changed because by “dealing” with them we are not helping them, which means we may be resorting to scolding them. Do they learn anything from the scolding? Probably not. However, working with them allows for a teaching moment. We can help them recognize what triggers the disruptive behavior and how-to acknowledge and move past it. For example, during programing (virtual or in person) when I notice our youth becoming distracted or see them losing interest in our activity, instead of scolding them or getting upset with I press the “pause” button on our activity so that we can take a short break. During this short break the youth are allowed to talk freely with one another, get up to move around/stretch, and use the restroom. During the break I try not to talk because I want the youth to facilitate their own conversations and connect with their peers. I find that giving them this break to be beneficial to the youth because after they often come back to the activity re-focused and ready to have fun

The thing to remember when helping the youth is that this must be a 50/50 process. Why must it be a 50/50 process? It has to be this way, because if not it is in essence like talking to a brick wall if the youth don’t meet you half way. This process of working together will not happen overnight; it will take time. It takes time because in order for the youth to meet us half way they have to trust us.  A key point to remember, if the youth do not want to meet you half way please DO NOT force them to. No one likes being forced to do anything, so it will only make the process of trying to work with the youth even harder.
LISTEN! In the end everything boils down to this one word. In my opinion, this is the most underused tool we can use to help our youth. By listening to our youth, we can not only earn their trust, but we can also learn about them as individuals. While this may seem like the easiest thing to do, I assure you it isn’t, it is actually the hardest thing to do because it requires us to let go of our point of view (POV) and see things through the POV of our youth. By doing this one thing, we can show the youth that we will not only be here for them, but we will care/support/love/work with them.

My top 3 Coaching resources

• How to coach kids: https://howtocoachkids.org/
• Eleven Rings: The Soul of Success by Phil Jackson
• Up2US Coach trainings: https://www.up2us.org

About Demitrius:

Here is a little info about myself. My name is Demitrius Payne, I come from the Pueblo of Laguna and here at the foundation I am a NB3FIT program coordinator. I am also the lead coach for our Junior golf program while also assisting with our other programs. I learned about the program as a kid when I joined the NB3FIT summer golf programs; and in high school I asked to do an internship with foundation during one of its fall and spring seasons. After my internship that year I started working for the foundation during the summers and once I graduated high school I started working year round with the foundation and was also a full time student at UNM. I chose to stay with the foundation while I was going to school because I love working with the kids, I enjoy seeing their smiles and their joy for the activities we do I believe our programs are a great stepping stone for our youth to accomplish great things because not only do we teach them about healthy living (I.e. exercise, eating healthy, mental health ) we also teach them about leadership skills that will not only help them in the classroom but in the real world when they venture out into it.

If you look at the “Our Team” page on the NB3 Foundation website, you might wonder why, at a Native-led organization, the first staff photo is a goofy-looking white guy. I’m the goofy-looking white guy (though I have had a haircut since that photo was taken) and I often wonder the same thing. Here’s the short version of who I am and how I ended up working for the NB3 Foundation.

I have never lived on land that my ancestors didn’t murder and swindle to steal. I was born in the traditional territory of the Chickasaw Nation, in present-day Memphis, Tennessee, and I first heard about the Notah Begay III Foundation when I was living on Zenú ancestral lands in present-day Cartagena, Colombia. In between, I grew up blissfully ignorant of my privilege as my parents fostered my love for the earth and commitment to working for justice. After graduating from the University of Memphis I moved to New Mexico to begin my career in education as a special education teacher at Cubero Elementary School.

That’s when I fell in love with the people and culture and land of this incredible place. Although I was already aware of the horrific history of European colonization, it was also when I truly began grappling with what it means to be a settler on Indigenous lands. I was blessed to work with several Indigenous educators who patiently answered my ignorant questions and provided the guidance and, when necessary, criticism that helped me begin to understand my role in working with Indigenous youth, families and communities. I will forever be grateful to these colleagues, my students and their families who welcomed me into their homes and communities for feasts and friendship. 

In the following years, I trained and supported new teachers, led a youth development program, developed the vision for and served as founding principal of a new K-8 public charter school and taught 2nd grade in an international school in Colombia. Everywhere I have worked and visited I have witnessed the effects of the exploitation and subjugation inherent to European colonization and contrasted them with the practices of reciprocity, care and respect I was shown in Acoma and Laguna. My ancestors caused immeasurable harm in their selfish, foolish pursuit of wealth and ease and people who look like me continue to drive the world to its present place of disharmony and peril. All of my experiences and learnings in diverse work settings and communities solidified my belief that, in order to overcome our current ecological, social, political and spiritual crises, it is essential to replace practices of colonization with Indigenous wisdom and traditions sustained over millennia by Native communities.

My generation will not complete this work and the best contribution we can make is to support and protect the youth who will lead renewal and healing for our world. The experiences of my former students established the importance of safeguarding the holistic wellness of Native youth in order for them to develop into the leaders that we all need. I can think of no work more valuable than ensuring Native children achieve their full potential by advancing cultures of Native American community health so I was inspired to learn about the Notah Begay III Foundation and enthusiastically submitted my application for the Chief Operating Officer position in February. 

I was immeasurably stoked in April when I received the call offering me that position and my excitement, motivation and gratitude have only grown over the past months. Being able to contribute to the Foundation’s work providing meaningful programs for youth, developing Indigenous-rooted evaluation and research models, and supporting the collective impact of Native youth-serving organizations has been challenging, instructive and, thanks to our remarkable staff, fun. When Justin resigned, I was honored that the Board of Directors asked me to fill the role of CEO on an interim basis and that is how my goofy picture ended up on the website.

I know that it is not my place to lead this organization and I am eager to support  the Foundation’s next dynamic and innovative leader. I will always grapple with what my role should be in working with Native organizations and communities but, as long as the staff and leadership believe my work has worth, I will listen, learn, enjoy and contribute as much as I possibly can. I am humbled, inspired and grateful to be a part of such a phenomenal group of colleagues and can’t wait to see the progress towards our mission in 2021.  

The COVID-19 pandemic has once again thrust the health vulnerability of Indian Country into the light.  In less than six months, the Navajo Nation held the top spot of most positive cases per capita in the United States. We witnessed relief fund after relief fund pop-up and millions of dollars pour into the Navajo Nation and beyond. The level of human capital invested in helping our relatives alone was impressive, to say the least.  Indian Country found itself placing tens of millions of dollars into treating and protecting Native people, particularly the “high risk” and most vulnerable. Significant efforts, including curfews, travel bans, mask-wearing and lock-down orders were put in place to “prevent” the spread and growth of this pandemic.

For the most part, these orders and policies are being followed and slowly we are seeing the numbers slow down. We are witnessing entire norm changes in just a few short months. For example, wearing masks everywhere, social distancing, temperature checks at grocery stores, and no handshakes or hugs, to name a few.  It has been extraordinary to experience first-hand what has taken place since March 2020 and to see how quickly people are adapting- be it uncomfortably or begrudgingly.  On July 21^st, the Navajo Nation had 8,617 positive cases, 6,369 recoveries and 442 confirmed deaths.  The numbers are better, but the health of the Navajo Nation remains tenuous at best.

Meanwhile, we have to ask- “Why are Native peoples so vulnerable to this pandemic?” Of course, there are many factors that contribute to this answer. One contributor, unfortunately, continues to be UNHEALTHY LIFESTYLE CHOICES. The fact remains, a significant portion of the vulnerable and high-risk individuals in Indian Country are saddled with PREVENTABLE diseases: obesity, type-2 diabetes, heart disease, cardiovascular diseases, hypertension and even some cancers.  While we can site many factors for why these preventable chronic diseases ravage our communities, one fact remains- lack of healthy opportunities and choices leading to unhealthy behaviors and lifestyle choices.  Current lifestyle choices, such as poor diet, lack of physical activity, smoking, overuse of alcohol, and inadequate relief of chronic stresses are key contributors in the development and progression of preventable chronic diseases. The result is a high number of Native people now labeled “high-risk,” who are extremely vulnerable to Covid-19 and who lack the full capabilities to fight of this virus and others.

If there is a silver lining in this pandemic, it has revealed that we can make major shifts, decisions and investments to protect and help our relatives when we want to and when the will is there. How do we harness this current “will” and move ourselves further into full health prevention norms and practices?  How do we normalize healthy behaviors? How do we support and invest in systemic approaches to healthy norms and lifestyles, including food, physical activity and mental and emotional respite?  How do we invest in our children at a level we have invested into COVID-19?  How do we create the same level of urgency for the wellbeing of our children and families as we did for the most vulnerable during COVID-19? How do we embrace the full concept of prevention and lead from a place of strength, knowledge and inspiration?

If there ever was a time to rethink, redirect and commit our resources, energy and knowledge to creating a sustainable and healthy future—now is the time.

Native Breastfeeding week is August 9-15! Here at the NB3 Foundation we believe it is important to introduce healthy eating and drinking to our children at birth, INCLUDING breastfeeding! We’d like to take this opportunity to share the amazing work community partners are doing to make lasting policy, systems and environmental changes in their community to promote and support breastfeeding.

Tamaya Wellness Center

Tamaya Wellness Center is proud to welcome nursing mothers to use their available Lactation Station. “A mother’s milk is a baby’s first source of nutrients and breastfeeding creates a life-long nurturing connection between mother and child.” We are honored to be a funding partner to this great organization. Read the full blog here: https://nb3foundation.org/2019/11/07/tamaya-wellness-center-recognized-national-breastfeeding-month-with-opening-of-new-lactation-station/

Five Sandoval Indian Pueblos, Inc.

Watch how community partner Five Sandoval Indian Pueblos, Inc. WIC program implemented a breastfeeding policy and how they’re supporting breastfeeding in their communities!

More inspiring Native Breastfeeding Week highlights and resources!

• Follow @NativeBreastfeedingWeek  on Facebook and Instagram!
• Native Breastfeeding week kick-off Facebook event
• Normalizing Breastfeeding in New Mexico
• Native Women ‘hack’ traditional dress for easier breastfeeding
• Learn more about Indigenous Breastfeeding Counselors here